silence

during the day, while at work, i visit other people's blogs and i get disappointed when i see that they have not been updated. i realize that this is pretty hypocritical of me, considering that i have also been kind of quiet lately.

there are many reasons for this, of course. excuses are easy. i keep myself busy. and when i am not, the internet is not working. and then, there's the whole issue about the fact that i feel like there's nothing much to write about anymore. i'm not traveling. i'm not discovering fantastic things. i don't feel the need to write and share with the people back home where i'm at and up to. it seems like the use of this blog as kinda diminished in my eyes lately.

but the thing is, i don't want to give it up. i'm attached to it. call it sentimental value if you will. i've never managed to keep a journal before for this long. it makes me proud to know that i've kept this up for over a year now. it would be a shame to give it up now.

i guess that i have to come to terms with the fact that this cannot (for the time being) be the same kind of blog as before. i need to find things to write about, but i can't expect it to be the same. it needs a temporary shift of perspective, until i can save enough money and get moving again. in a couple years. sight.

maybe why it feels harder right now is that i'm now stuck in this whole "this is what i was doing last year, this is where i was and this is where i am now - this is boring!" kinda jam. i'm not sure if that makes sense, or if that even was a sentence! what i meant to say is that i'm nostalgic. and perhaps a tad bitter.

on the upside, i've been eating a lot of beautiful, incredible heirloom tomatoes lately. trust me when i say that you have not taste a tomato until you've tried the real thing. it is absolutely divine. all of the hunting and spending for them is worth it, for all of the happiness their pretty coloured skin and luscious flesh give me.