scarry pants

there's a lot of things that i am afraid of or that i deeply dislike.

- heights
- being alone
- going to the dentist
- getting my hair cut
- cockroaches
- anything that bites/stings in japan - because they're huge

tonight i'm set up on justin's floor, on a japanese futon bed - they're quite comfy and very nice!. but what i'm not liking about this is the idea that i am now lying down at the same level as the cockroaches. last night i slept in mike's bed since he was not at home, and a saw a cockroach on his bedside table, right besside my head. but i told myself, "you're off the floor, it has no reason to go to the bed, and it won't jump onto the bed". and it still took me hours to fall asleep. but now, there's no reasoning this one out. to cockroach i saw tonight could very well decide to walk over to my bed. i've been told they do explore people. i'm not liking this at all!!!

i guess that i need to learn to ignore them. i will be seeing a lot of them over the next 6 months. and i have been good. i walk around barefoot. i still go places regardless, walk around and ignore them. i'm much better than i was when i was living wioth them in montreal. but the idea that one could crawl on me, regardless of how unprobable the possibility... creeps me out.